Early Detection - MILLENNIAL to MARTYR in 1-DAY!

READ this blog entry and you will become the very first MILLENNIAL to MARTYR in 1-DAY!
Say that again - ONE day!
A deal so go(o)d you couldn't walk away from.
...especially if you're an Iraq or Iran vet who lost their legs in battle, can't walk and now suffers from PTSD but is stigmatized by society so will eventually commit suicide next to the kid in North Philly who has no future and should just walk to prison now...

*Sale last today Only. Taxes do not include reminiscing thoughts of "life-as-we-know-it" mindfulness. CA and CO, need not apply. Consciousness limited in some states. Anyone who was of moderate cultural or human-rights related impact, that suspiciously died or got killed, you get it for FREE. 

Oh, I'm sorry. Was that too unexpected, abrupt or rash for you?

What if I also said - no, I'm not a born again virgin.
Mother Maria! Momma Mia
...i could eat some pasta.

Oh, nor am I going to kill myself.
And yes, my family can rest assured in knowing that the next time I call for 9-1-1 it's not because I made a choice to bail on life... but maybe just a super rare medical emergency.
An Ovarian Cyst Rupture topped with Appendix Inflammation, you don't say!
And yes, maybe other things the hospital didn't feel necessary to document in the system.
No big deal this time.
You just did an emergency, out-of-the-blue surgery and barely have an explanation for me as to why, but hey, don't let me worry my silly little PTSD, Anxiety and Depressed diagnosed, naive looking blond head.

Good. Keep reading.

YES. Cat is out of the bag.
I'm crazy.
You're crazy.
We'rall crazy for...

The only difference is, I've finally become comfortable enough wearing mine outwardly.
*Side note, I kind of want ice cream now. 

Judge me.
I'll make a trending# the second you do. #woke.
I'll unfollow you before you unfollow me.
Watch me.
I'll have you feeling like Roseanne Bar, Mark Zuckerbeg, Moon Jae-in and Opioid manufactures before Trump's next tweet.

Or, how about I make it simple...
Imagine if you believed there was someone out there who cared about you, more than you cared about yourself.
Who at the same time, made you feel like you have a purpose for existence.
Someone who would never leave you, unless you left them.
Never abandon or judge you.
Would wake up to you everyday, and say goodnight at the end.
Someone who would never leave your side.
As if for once, someone finally making you believe you're worthwhile, bigger than your own limits, and not ashamed for your past pain.
The kind of person that makes you strive to be a genuinely better person.

Come to think of it, we could all use someone like this in our lives.

So maybe I - am the cool one. Tell that to my nieces and nephews!

That person I described.
Who I found.
For me, is Jesus.
Yea, I like tall skinny dudes with dope hair.
I especially like loving myself and thinking every time it rains, its for me.
Guess I did jump on the GOD Wagon.

By the way how come Malcolm Jenkins is constantly be scrutinized for wanting recognition of his character and community service, as if him getting paid bank for the job he got in doing it should make him happy enough, but the president isn't? High paying job, few people get, ability to impact society. At least the Eagle is giving a shit, and not lying about who he is in doing it. Of course black lives matter. So do women's. #MEtoo.

Anyway. The God Wagon.
(put it together and you get godagon. Google it. It's a weird Japanese cartoon. HA. I'm definitely being a godagon for Halloween this year. Take that Trump costume).

Now if you can't tell, much of this banter is characterized by a "sense or humor", or better, using sarcasm. Passive aggressive opinion, dare I say.

...oh I get it, she jokes a lot. Even though she may look too far from being that smart and funny, all at the same time. Damn blondes. Should've just been a stay-at-home-wife after high school like they did in the good old days. Keep my mouth shut.

Anyway. I digress. (Probably my ADHD, ADD, ADdoesn't exist).

Yes. I seemed to have found it.
My personality that is.
Right after I found myself feeling comfortable in my own skin for the first time...in my life.
Imagine that, 30 years of feeling out of your skin.
Ever relate?
I'm probably the only who feels like they wore masks most of their lives.
...and maybe sometimes still does.
Jim Carry aint' the only one got rich wearing masks.
Count it.

Call me crazy, but it's got me flying high.
And clearly everyone likes to get high.
So how come I feel like the black sheep of my generation?
The only one who isn't a rapper or saint, that's down with JC?

Hey Justin Bieber and Selna Gomez go to christian concerts.
J.cole just wrote an entire album about it.
I'ts on the damn penny.
Watch it's good luck.
On the damn dollar.
#TrustTheProcess it sticks around.
The face of our beloved superbowl quarterback.
In our most "patriotic", yet ironic-to-popular-culture songs.
The ones we love to sing on paid holidays.
Dare I mention the epicenter of our favorite slang word?
OMG, no she didn't.
And unintentionally mocked at, by all of us who love to decorate, buy gifts, and eat food together for Christmas.
But then claim it to be the cause of school shootings, volcano eruptions and cancer.
So that WE don't have to take the blame.
But only when convenient and non-threatening to man-kind's place in this society, this world and GODFORBID, this universe, do we like to talk about God.

Yea, I' still rappin about God.

Check it:
I like to go to church.
I like to sing songs that have some level of consciousness to them.
I like to make it a goal of mine to be a better person each week.
I like to forgive those who've harmed me, so I can rid the burden I carry of the past.

Lord know's I already tried all the pharmaceutical options for my anxiety, so hell yea, I needed something for that, and in PA it isn't legal yet.

Call me crazy, but I kind of like the idea that an honest, trustworthy relationship is still an option for me.

And that maybe, marriage isn't the devil.
That I'm not forsaken because I had sex before I wore the jewelry.

And mostly, I like that peace is the ability to simplify life.
That meditation and mindfulness are still relevant and true.
That my past doesn't define me.

Best, that I love everyone like brother and sister, all of us, family in spirit.

Why wouldn't I want to play on this team?
Especially when there are no cuts in try outs.

Reporting for you live,
from the Philadelphia suburbs
...where life does exist,
God's child,
Daughter of the most high,

#Namaste and #Godbless

And please, if somebody other than the god-loving-women in my life, would take my cause for concern that I 'm freaked out about this stomach surgery and what caused it (or why I was in the ER this time last year for the same pain), and damn it, let me say the word Cancer and take me seriously.

No I don't have cancer. Many of us don't until we do.
But I would be a dumb-ass-blond for sure if I didn't acknowledge that all the words associated with what happened to me + the symptoms I have experienced since surgery = looks a lot like #OvarianCancer.

So yes, I want my doctor to run every report on me to show otherwise.
I don't know maybe because I am human too, and because this scares the shit out of me...

Cancer of the ovary is not common, but it causes more deaths than other female reproductive cancers. The sooner ovarian cancer is found and treated, the better your chance for recovery. But ovarian cancer is hard to detect early. Women with ovarian cancer may have no symptoms or just mild symptoms until the disease is in an advanced stage. Then it is hard to treat. Symptoms may include:
A heavy feeling in the pelvis
Pain in the lower abdomen
Bleeding from the vagina
Weight gain or loss
Abnormal periods
Unexplained back pain that gets worse
Gas, nausea, vomiting, or loss of appetite

God, I hate doctors. 
Please forgive me for I have sinned.
Oh and maybe, just maybe, my demeanor and confidence in all of this is because I know I'm being watched over and protected.
So yea, I'm gonna make things a little uncomfortable before I get comfortable.



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